Seven Quick Takes
1. Well, it’s Labor Day weekend, which means summer is more or less over, and I am still wondering what the hell happened. I did not accomplish my (one, very simple) goal for this summer, which was to do some simple sewing projects. However, I did do a lot of other things this summer, including create a human being inside my uterus (with my husband’s help, of course, must give credit where credit is due). Since this human being will make his-or-her ex utero appearance sometime in late February or early March of next year, the odds are VERY likely that next summer will also be a blur. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
2. Speaking of not having it any other way, Sarah Bessey’s recent post In Which He Wouldn’t Do Anything Different pretty much ruined me:
…that night, I said, “Don’t you miss it? What do you think? Should we make it more of a priority to pursue some official kind of ministry life again?” And so, for the millionth time, we talked it through, and we yelled at each other, then: ssshhhhhh! the tinies are sleeping! and eventually, he was laying stretched out on the couch, his arm flung over his eyes, we needed to go to bed by now.
“I miss it, sure, Sarah, and I yearn for it, and I hope I do it for the rest of my life, someday, but today [Sunday] was today, and it was wonderful. I built a work bench with my son, and I wouldn’t do it anything different,” he said. “If all I ever do right in my life is love those kids down the hall, I’m satisfied, can’t you see?”
3. Also active in the ruining of me (via words that make me want to shout, “Yes, YES! That’s it!” and then whisper, “Oh shit.”) was this quote from Joan Chittister, which found its way into my Facebook feed:
I do not believe that just because you’re opposed to abortion that that makes you pro-life. In fact, I think in many cases, your morality is deeply lacking. If all you want is a child born but not a child fed, not a child educated, not a child housed and why would I think that you don’t? Because you don’t want any tax money to go there. That’s not pro-life. That’s pro-birth. We need a much broader conversation on what the morality of pro-life is.
In other words, “Emily, what are you doing with your life to be a part of the solution?” My answer: “Right now, not nearly enough.”
4. This little snippet from What Boys Need from Moms encouraged me a lot to me this week:
It’s important for mothers of boys to offer their sons more independence based on his growing needs. At 18 months when a son starts to move away from his mom to identify more with his father or other men, he needs a mom who is patient and understanding. …who refrains from making him feel guilty or seeing his desire to move away as rejecting.
…and…
Boys need moms who hug, cuddle, hold, and touch them. Research studies have shown that when a baby boy reaches 6 months of age mothers’ raising boys talk and touch them less than they talk and touch baby girls. Oxytocin is a bonding hormone that Dr. Allan Schore of USCA School of Medicine has found to increase between mother and child nurturing interactions. As oxytocin levels increase, cortisol (stress hormone) levels decrease. Boys need moms who will hug, rock, and comfort them in order to create healthy bonds and lower stress hormones.
This is what I try to do with Garrett, and I pray God helps me do so consistently – let him pull away when he wants to, when he needs to, but always be available to love and encourage him, to hold him close and reassure him, when he needs me. This is so hard to do when I am busy or frazzled or not feeling 100% myself, but I it is a top priority for me.
5. I really loved this birthday post chock full of awesome goals for the author’s 33rd year, and I thought, “Hey, I’m going to do that on my next birthday! But then I remembered that I excel at making lists of goals and suck at actually meeting those goals. I refer you again to my (one, very simple) goal for this summer, which did not happen. In case you can’t tell, I’m feeling a little bit down on myself (and my non-ability to follow through on good intentions) today.
6. I’ve been super busy on Pinterest lately, in an effort to keep from actually doing anything creative or productive in real life. (I kid, I kid!) (Okay, no I don’t.) One thing I found that I ABSOLUTELY MUST HAVE:
The readymade hat only costs $31, but I can’t help but think it would be so much fun to crochet this thing myself, if I could find a pattern for it. And if I could actually discipline myself to start crocheting again (I think the last project I actually finished was a Christmas present for my nieces back in 2009 when I was gestating my first little turkey).
7. Also super awesome on Pinterest (and also the brainchild of the super awesome Sarah Bessey): This board that celebrates wild and wonderful women of all shapes, sizes, and callings. Here’s a couple of my faves:
“We need to understand that there is no formula for how women should lead their lives….Every woman deserves the chance to realize her God-given potential.” — Hillary Clinton
(BTW, you don’t have to like Hilary to know that she’s speaking the truth here.)
“Remember this, for it is as true and true gets: Your body is not a lemon. You are not a machine. The Creator is not a careless mechanic. Human female bodies have the same potential to give birth well as aardvarks, lions, rhinoceri, elephants, moose, and water buffalo. Even if it has not been your habit throughout your life so far, I recommend that you learn to think positively about your body.” — Ina May Gaskin
(P.S. I am reading Ina May’s Birth Matters: A Midwife’s Manifesta and it is just rocking my world.)
That’s it for me, today, folks. Go see Jen for more quick takes.
I can appreciate what Sr. Joan Chittister is saying, but at the same time I can’t help but think she is trying to lay a guilt trip on pro-lifers. Most of the pro-life people I know (and I know many) help the women as well as the baby. I prefer to give money directly to groups that do the things she refers to and not depend on the government to do it through my taxes.
She is basically referring here to the “Seamless Garment” of Cardinal Bernadine (misspelled?) where the abortion issue is on the same level of importance as the others. I hope I don’t sound heartless because I don’t intend to be, but unless you are born all the other issues are meaningless.
You have a wonderful child and you are being pro-life by raising him up well. Don’t feel guilty. Keep up the good work!
One of my Facebook friends said essentially the same thing that (I think) you are saying here – that just because someone doesn’t want the government (and therefore all taxpaying citizens) paying for children’s needs doesn’t mean that person doesn’t care about those needs. And certainly not all pro-lifers are just pro-birth. Many really put feet on their ideals and give of themselves to needy families. But there are also many pro-lifers who don’t see that there is a direct relationship between the problem of abortion and the fact that our society (speaking specifically about America here) provides very little support (monetarily, medically, socially, etc.) for women who are facing an unexpected pregnancy. And as I said to my FB friend, I don’t care whether it’s the government or private institutions that’s answering this call. I just don’t like it that children are going without food and clothing and shelter and medical care. And the fact that they aren’t is, in my opinion, and indictment on the church – if she was doing her job, the government wouldn’t need to get involved.
This is an incredibly difficult issue, and it becomes all the more difficult the closer you are to it. I do hope that by being a good mother I can be a positive influence (however small) in our broken world. And every little bit I do to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, etc., makes my heart glad. I am glad to hear that you know quite a few people who feel the same way!
I too, really liked Take #3. I know so many who are actually pro-birth, not pro-life. In Texas that translates into anti-abortion and pro-death penalty. What an adorable hat!
One of the things that draws me to the Catholic church is that it is truly pro-life, even when the life we’re talking about is someone who is severely disabled or who has committed terrible crimes. I have always felt rather unsettled by the idea that we, as a society, think we get to decide when someone “deserves” to die. I really think that’s a decision for God alone to make.
I want to eat that hat, and that baby. Too adorable.
And that quote on the morality of what it means to be pro-life strikes me through the heart. I want to be known as a pro-lifer that sees the needs beyond the delivery room, but oh, my, when I start to think of it all, it’s so overwhelming. If we would be so lucky as to outlaw abortion, what would we do with all those children? It’s not even a tax issue so much as a broken families issue, and how to strengthen families. And then I start thinking about how to tackle the premarital sex issue and my head nearly explodes.
It IS overwhelming. When you think about how many married couples choose abortion because they feel they cannot support another child, or can’t care for a special needs child, that really makes you think about why abortion is so prevalent (in America, at least, and likely in other developed countries). We don’t value children enough to provide support systems for families and especially mothers. One of the cool things that Ina May Gaskin says in Birth Matters is that in her experience, most women who are considering abortion don’t really WANT to have an abortion, they just didn’t have a family or a partner that is willing to support them during pregnancy and childbirth and in raising a child. When they found a support system, they were often glad to have the child, even if they ultimately gave him/her up for adoption.
I’m new here, sucked in by that picture of the baby in the turkey hat
. Must say…. I. Love. Your. Blog!
Wow, thanks, Stacy! I’m glad you stopped by and liked what you saw.
And that turkey baby is seriously cute, right?